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« on: Friday, May 21, 2010, 06:22:37 AM »
Before reading this, you should know that it's late and I'm tired.
For me, the whole AA experience was a ton of fun and I met a a lot of people and I honestly don't think I would be where I am today without it. But if there's 1 thing I've learned, it's this: No matter how much you try, you can't re-create those good times. People change and sometimes it's for the better and sometimes not but either way, things won't be the same. I can't keep trying to think that it will be like it once was, I can't keep thinking that mAAp might be successful. The consequence of this: As much as I enjoy UnrealEd, I can't and shouldn't devote time towards an AA-based modification game.
So where does this leave Spanky? The same place I was before Alex came around again. The bottom line is that I would only work on something that was built around UnrealEd 2, preferably AA. Why is this? Well, I spent around 4 years (probably more, time lengths get hazy for us old people) or so using it on and off. It took me that long to learn the things I know today which isn't everything. I also had a lot of fun with some great people that I'm lucky enough to keep in touch with today. Those classic days are gone, the engine is old and so is the game, and the troubles of maturity and being an adult are upon me. Even among friends and with the intent to rekindle the old times, starting something as complex as a game, new, from the ground up just doesn't make sense to me from a time standpoint. I honestly have other things I would rather be doing, especially if it's an unpaid job (true, as bad as it sounds).
I'll break the reasons (not excuses) down, if I'm not making my point clear, as to why I won't participate in whatever, if anything, emerges from this melting pot of ideas I see churning.
My limited knowledge - What? Yea, it's limited and generic. Some have thought I could/should get a job doing level editing. I don't have anywhere NEAR the requirements to even apply and I really have no desire to. I also have near no motivation to learn anything that has to do with game design. That's mostly because I'm a hardware guy. I clean, repair, upgrade and refurbish computers for a small living. I like to build, customize then enjoy that hardware. I'm not an artist or a creative thinker.
Time - It's not as abundant as it once was when I was fresh out of high school with nothing to do aside from nights filled with Bridge Crossing and Pipeline whoring. It's all about managing it and doing things that matter the most. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVED every minute of mAAp but, come on, look at that effort/reward ratio.
Bottom line: I'd love to, but can't let myself join in (assuming I was invited into whatever idea this is, if it exists).
I'll end this with something light:
Klaasillu: That's got to be something terribly big, damn!
Spanky: thats what she said