Just for the cuddles, this is the critique I provided on Jared's work in Redg Forums.
At this point, I feel as if this piece is lacking of two substantial things: Texture and Text-Geometry
This piece reminds me of the old post-war work done on poster-illustration. These were usually rather grungy-like and contained several subliminal messages as well. In that sense, this piece matches equally. It does feel, however, as if this piece is roaming on two distinct directions. It's a fight between simple and complex, clean and messy, straightforward and subliminal, and so on. There is clearly a shock of interventions on this pieces; each generating a lot of confusion towards the full understanding of the piece. I have a WIP of a piece within the same style that had texture-work applied to it already. I'll post it just so you can understand more clearly what and how texture can re-enforce the sense of impact, revolt and fixness to your piece.

Like so. As you can see, I've never got myself to add actual war elements to the piece. Yet to do that. Bottom line is; texture work.
As per the text-geometry; I'd suggest you look more into typography. A good way to make it all seem fit in properly is to tweak around with the density of each words, and place it in a way that it will create
invisible geometrical structures within. The first awkward thing I have noticed about the text (position/size-wise) was the
The before "Rich" and after "Eat". It just, somehow, seems completely misplaced or unfit of its appearance. If I were you, I would have rather make it smaller or slimmer. As equally important, and still on the geometrical aspect of the piece ---Those two horizontal stripes getting off the piece would have actually --in my understanding and opinion-- worked better a tad up higher, as it would complement the sense of a
square frame suggested by the allocation of the text.
There's a video that is just about right-on this kind geometrical asserting. Also happens to be an interesting music.
http://www.youtube.com/v/vow7sD1LcbYKeep it up.
Looking forward to see further work being done to this.
Klaasillu