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Community => The Lounge => Topic started by: Knight on Monday, April 05, 2010, 11:57:43 AM

Title: Daily Chuck
Post by: Knight on Monday, April 05, 2010, 11:57:43 AM
Well not sure if any one besides my self finds these humorous but I do so I will post one Chuck Norris "Fact" per-day just to give you a daily smile.

"Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door"
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: BlueBlaster on Monday, April 05, 2010, 14:01:41 PM
I actually smiled.
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Knight on Monday, April 05, 2010, 14:22:22 PM
Then this thread is a success already.
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Spanky on Monday, April 05, 2010, 14:25:56 PM
I actually smiled.
Same :)
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Dialects on Monday, April 05, 2010, 18:09:22 PM
Never heard of them before.
Looking forward to see more of these;

Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Knight on Tuesday, April 06, 2010, 06:40:54 AM
The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends".
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Dialects on Tuesday, April 06, 2010, 09:44:02 AM
That was spot on!
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Knight on Wednesday, April 07, 2010, 05:25:09 AM
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Spanky on Wednesday, April 07, 2010, 13:23:39 PM
That was worth waiting for :D
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Knight on Thursday, April 08, 2010, 05:04:45 AM
When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Knight on Friday, April 09, 2010, 08:02:19 AM
There is no such thing as tornadoes. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Spanky on Friday, April 09, 2010, 12:38:12 PM
I <3 it.
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Knight on Saturday, April 10, 2010, 04:11:54 AM
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits.
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Spanky on Saturday, April 10, 2010, 14:41:26 PM
lol one I've heard before but it's a classic :P
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Knight on Sunday, April 11, 2010, 09:19:31 AM
Chuck Norris is never late, if he is starting to run late time simply slows down.
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Dialects on Sunday, April 11, 2010, 19:42:52 PM
Ha, that had me in bursts!
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Knight on Monday, April 12, 2010, 03:36:25 AM
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Knight on Tuesday, April 13, 2010, 11:46:07 AM
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Spanky on Tuesday, April 13, 2010, 14:27:27 PM
Ha, I would too :)
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Knight on Wednesday, April 14, 2010, 09:25:51 AM
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Knight on Thursday, April 15, 2010, 03:42:02 AM
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Knight on Saturday, April 17, 2010, 03:29:30 AM
Chuck Norris' iPod came with a real charger instead of just a USB cord
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Archeh on Sunday, April 18, 2010, 01:31:26 AM
Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. As a result, they bleed for a week.
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Knight on Sunday, April 18, 2010, 03:00:02 AM
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Knight on Wednesday, April 21, 2010, 04:50:39 AM
I totally forgot to do the daily chuck the last few days, sorry!

Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Knight on Friday, April 23, 2010, 11:06:58 AM
Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Chuck Norris got an award for masturbating in public
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Spanky on Friday, April 23, 2010, 19:41:34 PM
HAHAHAHAHA!
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Knight on Saturday, April 24, 2010, 02:21:16 AM
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Spanky on Saturday, April 24, 2010, 14:04:50 PM
LOL! These are great ones lately :P
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Knight on Sunday, April 25, 2010, 04:44:45 AM
What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Spanky on Sunday, April 25, 2010, 15:02:40 PM
Ha, that's like the bug and car joke :)
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Knight on Monday, April 26, 2010, 18:51:31 PM
Once Chuck Norris had cancer, due to it his beard had fallen off. So ashamed of not having his manly beard, he put on a black wig and renamed himself Steven Seagal through 1980-2000.
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Spanky on Monday, April 26, 2010, 19:12:37 PM
:P the last several days have been great.
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Knight on Tuesday, April 27, 2010, 03:36:20 AM
The Boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris every night.
(https://aao25.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimage.wetpaint.com%2Fimage%2F1%2FuhxLaFlBEKXMY82oBVIMOw17496%2FGW185H100&hash=7d1b48ee19e0c6215f0e500140e24577)
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Archeh on Tuesday, April 27, 2010, 16:43:31 PM
I've been waiting for my favorite one but now I'm impatient.

Many people wear Superman pajamas, but Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Knight on Tuesday, April 27, 2010, 22:10:13 PM
Thanks that was tomorrows.
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Alex on Tuesday, April 27, 2010, 22:12:25 PM
Thanks that was tomorrows.

That seems like an unlikely coincidence.  :D
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Knight on Wednesday, April 28, 2010, 04:40:35 AM
Lol it wasn't really, I don't play which ones to do which  days, just kinda look and see whats funny today.
When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris jumps out.
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Knight on Thursday, April 29, 2010, 04:07:08 AM
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Knight on Friday, April 30, 2010, 06:26:38 AM
Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Knight on Saturday, May 01, 2010, 06:47:33 AM
Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Knight on Sunday, May 02, 2010, 01:47:57 AM
Chuck Norris never “gets laid”, rather: “laid gets Chucked".
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Knight on Tuesday, May 04, 2010, 05:11:10 AM
If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Spanky on Tuesday, May 04, 2010, 11:32:09 AM
haha :)
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Knight on Wednesday, May 05, 2010, 07:34:45 AM
Chuck Norris does not procreate, he breeds
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Spanky on Saturday, July 31, 2010, 03:30:31 AM
Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Chuck Norris beats all 3 at the same time.
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: Dialects on Saturday, July 31, 2010, 08:28:43 AM
What's known as the UFC, or Ultimate Fighting Championship, doesn't use its full name, which happens to be "Ultimate Fighting Championship, Non-Chuck-Norris-Division".


8)
Title: Re: Daily Chuck
Post by: [Nifty]-mister on Monday, August 02, 2010, 13:53:42 PM
Indiana's jones wip is made of chuck norris back hair...